宅男~~
我有话跟你说，希望你会听得清楚，不要误会，不要说话，只要好好听着。
我对你有意思。 就是说，我很喜欢你。但你不要担心，我告诉你的原因并不是希望你对我有什么感觉----我已经知道你喜欢其他的一个女孩，而且，我又不是日本的。。。我知道你对我没有那样的感情。
嗯~~我知道这个真的很为难，但是我不太喜欢秘密，想诚实一点*
我希望我们俩的关系不会改变，希望你不会觉得太为难。我跟你在一起真的很开心，对我来说最重要的是友谊。
我好像说完了~
那我先走**
Thursday, 23 April 2009
Saturday, 21 February 2009
Friday, 9 January 2009
Creepy little boys
I have a stalker. The other day when I was sitting with my daily cup of coffee at Starbucks (which is, admittedly, my second home) when a member of the staff comes over to me with a little note.
"Sorry to bother you, but is your name Cecilia?"
I look at him suspiciously. "Yes."
"A gentleman just called asking for you, he thought you might be here. He wanted me to give you his number and make sure you sent him a message."
"What's his name?"
"Mr Wang."
"I don't know any Mr Wang." Really, I don't. I know a Wu Wangzi, but that's clearly not the same boy. My Wangzi would Not look for me in Beijing unless he was in need of a blood transfusion and I'm pretty sure we have different blood types anyway.
"Please take the note either way, Miss. He sounded very urgent."
I sent a message, Who are you?, wondering how the hell someone would look for me here, and why. I shouldn't have sent anything at all but I was curious.
In the evening, I got a phone call but it was already past ten and it is my policy not to pick up so late unless it's Azhang or You Jin, so I let it go unanswered. A message the next day, "MY NAME IS NAN WANG I REALLY WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND CAN I CALL YOU THIS NOON?" (yes, in capitals. Everybody knows I am allergic to capitals. Whoever this was, he has just all his credibility all at once)
I messaged him a "No, not really interested" and before "CAN I HAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS?" and I just didn't bother replying to that. The creepiest message however, was the last one. "CECILIA LET ME TELL YOU THE TRUTH I WAS WAITING AT STARBUCKS FOR A VERY LONG TIME JUST TO HAVE A LOOK ON YOU YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL I REALLY WANT TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND CAN YOU ACCEPT ME?" ... I was so frightened that I almost screamed.
I will have my wig on next time I go to Starbucks, to shield myself from creeps. Christ. Compared to this, Azhang was a dream!!
"Sorry to bother you, but is your name Cecilia?"
I look at him suspiciously. "Yes."
"A gentleman just called asking for you, he thought you might be here. He wanted me to give you his number and make sure you sent him a message."
"What's his name?"
"Mr Wang."
"I don't know any Mr Wang." Really, I don't. I know a Wu Wangzi, but that's clearly not the same boy. My Wangzi would Not look for me in Beijing unless he was in need of a blood transfusion and I'm pretty sure we have different blood types anyway.
"Please take the note either way, Miss. He sounded very urgent."
I sent a message, Who are you?, wondering how the hell someone would look for me here, and why. I shouldn't have sent anything at all but I was curious.
In the evening, I got a phone call but it was already past ten and it is my policy not to pick up so late unless it's Azhang or You Jin, so I let it go unanswered. A message the next day, "MY NAME IS NAN WANG I REALLY WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND CAN I CALL YOU THIS NOON?" (yes, in capitals. Everybody knows I am allergic to capitals. Whoever this was, he has just all his credibility all at once)
I messaged him a "No, not really interested" and before "CAN I HAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS?" and I just didn't bother replying to that. The creepiest message however, was the last one. "CECILIA LET ME TELL YOU THE TRUTH I WAS WAITING AT STARBUCKS FOR A VERY LONG TIME JUST TO HAVE A LOOK ON YOU YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL I REALLY WANT TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND CAN YOU ACCEPT ME?" ... I was so frightened that I almost screamed.
I will have my wig on next time I go to Starbucks, to shield myself from creeps. Christ. Compared to this, Azhang was a dream!!
Thursday, 1 January 2009
说好的什么呢
The Obligatory Promises:
Please, Cecilia, put some effort into your studies!
Stop eating or you will end up fatter and very miserable!
Finish your book!
Buy better runners!
We need to make sure there is no cheating, so we will do occasional follow-ups, of course. Hold on to your hat, ready? One, two, three ---
And there she goes
Please, Cecilia, put some effort into your studies!
Stop eating or you will end up fatter and very miserable!
Finish your book!
Buy better runners!
We need to make sure there is no cheating, so we will do occasional follow-ups, of course. Hold on to your hat, ready? One, two, three ---
And there she goes
Friday, 26 December 2008
2008, 88!
Today, we will think about the year that is ending... Well, I shall at any rate. 2008 was an unlucky year, a tragic one, but after trauma there's a sweet if somewhat tangy aftertaste and though I suppose I am not exactly learning, I am never upset for more than two days in a row. It is amazing, the ability one has to come back like a bouncing little bunny in the midst of it all. It is very practical indeed!
First off then, the hardships:
March: The riots in Tibet that inevitably reached Sichuan and Chengdu, resulting in heavily armed policemen and continuous bomb threats. I have never been in a war zone, per say, but during this time, we were told to stay inside and if indeed we ventured outside, there were guns cocked in all directions.
May: The Wenchuan Earthquake. The world shook and fell into pieces and I worked overtime to pull it back to together, to help the best I could. Everywhere was ruins, death and but also Hope, and I am glad that I could help. I slept on fields, I provided drinking water, I interviewed and translated, I donated my entire salary and so much more and I can still feel that I did not do enough.
July-August: My Visa Problems. Continuous problems with my new university and my visa that in the end forced me out of the country, all because of the Olympics and a department that is unaware of its own rules and regulations. Once in Korea, I was stuck, unable to return to my beloved China and if my dad had not stormed into the Chinese embassy in Stockholm I would have been forced to stay in Seoul to get a job - I mean, I do love the Koreans but there are limits. I the end, I had a stressful but very exciting time in Seoul and I picked up plenty of Korean(s) for the sake of learning! =^_^=
October: Painful rejection and heartbreak! I died, I fell apart, and I screamed for hours, I was so angry with myself and the little fluffy clouds in my heart. I wanted a shoulder, at least for an hour, was rejected again and lost a friend in the process. But I had it all coming, it was so Obvious, I was not even surprised, which made it so much Worse.
But this years has also brought wonderful things. It brought Kathy, Tracy and You Jin, Kandi and Ali and Pierre, Cui Sheng Xuan, RK and Azhang (though he annoys me) and I love Beijing, I love China and my heart is so Full. I can take pain, I can take anything you fucking throw at me - just give me Jay and a G&T, I'm ready for war.
Song of the Year: "彩虹" Jay Chou
Dance of the Year: "Tell me" (Especially with Korean Army Boys)
Look-A-Like of the Year: Azhang OMG JAY BABY
Drink of the Year: Soju!
The Best Mistake Ever: Azhang
Love of Year: KOREAN SOCKS
Girl of the Year: Kathy
Boy of the Year: Howie
Obsession of the Year: Getting a Taiwanese accent (it's okay, you can laugh)
Loss of the Year: Various friendships and Chengdu (but I will be back ^^)
In short: Go Go 加油！2009, 欢迎你！
First off then, the hardships:
March: The riots in Tibet that inevitably reached Sichuan and Chengdu, resulting in heavily armed policemen and continuous bomb threats. I have never been in a war zone, per say, but during this time, we were told to stay inside and if indeed we ventured outside, there were guns cocked in all directions.
May: The Wenchuan Earthquake. The world shook and fell into pieces and I worked overtime to pull it back to together, to help the best I could. Everywhere was ruins, death and but also Hope, and I am glad that I could help. I slept on fields, I provided drinking water, I interviewed and translated, I donated my entire salary and so much more and I can still feel that I did not do enough.
July-August: My Visa Problems. Continuous problems with my new university and my visa that in the end forced me out of the country, all because of the Olympics and a department that is unaware of its own rules and regulations. Once in Korea, I was stuck, unable to return to my beloved China and if my dad had not stormed into the Chinese embassy in Stockholm I would have been forced to stay in Seoul to get a job - I mean, I do love the Koreans but there are limits. I the end, I had a stressful but very exciting time in Seoul and I picked up plenty of Korean(s) for the sake of learning! =^_^=
October: Painful rejection and heartbreak! I died, I fell apart, and I screamed for hours, I was so angry with myself and the little fluffy clouds in my heart. I wanted a shoulder, at least for an hour, was rejected again and lost a friend in the process. But I had it all coming, it was so Obvious, I was not even surprised, which made it so much Worse.
But this years has also brought wonderful things. It brought Kathy, Tracy and You Jin, Kandi and Ali and Pierre, Cui Sheng Xuan, RK and Azhang (though he annoys me) and I love Beijing, I love China and my heart is so Full. I can take pain, I can take anything you fucking throw at me - just give me Jay and a G&T, I'm ready for war.
Song of the Year: "彩虹" Jay Chou
Dance of the Year: "Tell me" (Especially with Korean Army Boys)
Look-A-Like of the Year: Azhang OMG JAY BABY
Drink of the Year: Soju!
The Best Mistake Ever: Azhang
Love of Year: KOREAN SOCKS
Girl of the Year: Kathy
Boy of the Year: Howie
Obsession of the Year: Getting a Taiwanese accent (it's okay, you can laugh)
Loss of the Year: Various friendships and Chengdu (but I will be back ^^)
In short: Go Go 加油！2009, 欢迎你！
Sunday, 21 December 2008
My heart is lame
My heart is lame with running after yours so fast
Such a long way,
Shall we walk slowly home, looking at all the things we passed
Perhaps to-day?
Home down the quiet evening roads under the quiet skies,
Not saying much,
You for a moment giving me your eyes
When you could bear my touch.
But not to-morrow. This has taken all my breath;
Then, though you look the same,
There may be something lovelier in Love's face in death
As your heart sees it, running back the way we came;
My heart is lame.
Charlotte Mew
Such a long way,
Shall we walk slowly home, looking at all the things we passed
Perhaps to-day?
Home down the quiet evening roads under the quiet skies,
Not saying much,
You for a moment giving me your eyes
When you could bear my touch.
But not to-morrow. This has taken all my breath;
Then, though you look the same,
There may be something lovelier in Love's face in death
As your heart sees it, running back the way we came;
My heart is lame.
Charlotte Mew
Saturday, 20 December 2008
我忘了说~~最美的是你的名字
I feel so incredibly romantic today, I can't explain it. It has nothing to do with Azhang, I've rejected his advances after the Big Fallout - no, I think it's just a general feeling of content that has come over me of late. I'm being romantic all to myself with flowers, sweets, raspberry lattes and books... Today is a Happy Saturday!
Yesterday's concert was inspiring, I am looking forwards to Korean Food with You Jin tonight. I think I am just... content. Happy! Yeah, that's it.
.bmp)
.bmp)
PARIS IS SOON!
Oh, Love.
Yesterday's concert was inspiring, I am looking forwards to Korean Food with You Jin tonight. I think I am just... content. Happy! Yeah, that's it.
.bmp)
.bmp)
PARIS IS SOON!
Oh, Love.
Sunday, 14 December 2008
Saturday, 13 December 2008
Let's Lose Face
Oh, come on, seriously, what's up with all the drama? I can't say I'm a fan of it, really. I wanted something calm and quiet for once - and what do I get? More Drama! As though the whole Korean ordeal was not enough, we have to do it again, and in Chinese!
My heart is lame with running after yours so fast
Who wrote that? I feel her.
I think we are playing some kind of revenge game, Azhang and I.
"You didn't let me move in so I'll make you lose face by pretending not to notice you"
"You made me lose face so I'm dirty dancing with another bloke in front of you"
"You're making me lose face in front of my friends so I'll ignore you"
"You ignore me so I will let the other bloke buy me flowers to piss you off"
"You're flirting with someone else right in front of me so I will do the same"
"You're a complete arse so I'm going to leave without letting you know"
"You left without telling so now I won't call you"
Very mature, I say. I admit I am a part of it, but at least I did not start it.
Oh, what the hell. Let's just break up and be done with it.
My heart is lame with running after yours so fast
Who wrote that? I feel her.
I think we are playing some kind of revenge game, Azhang and I.
"You didn't let me move in so I'll make you lose face by pretending not to notice you"
"You made me lose face so I'm dirty dancing with another bloke in front of you"
"You're making me lose face in front of my friends so I'll ignore you"
"You ignore me so I will let the other bloke buy me flowers to piss you off"
"You're flirting with someone else right in front of me so I will do the same"
"You're a complete arse so I'm going to leave without letting you know"
"You left without telling so now I won't call you"
Very mature, I say. I admit I am a part of it, but at least I did not start it.
Oh, what the hell. Let's just break up and be done with it.
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
... and the beat goes on
He didn't move in after all, for which we are all grateful and only vaguely mournful (its nice to keep him close). He is finding his own place in Hou Hai, and it's only thirty minutes there by bus, I think I can live through it.
We aren't offically boyfriend and girlfriend, of course, we made that clear, but I have never slept so well as when he is near. It's something about the stupid things he does, like combing out my hair when something is stuck, or pinching my cheek when I'm being an arse.
I'm sleeping, and he takes the pillow I'm hugging away from me, waking me up before he rolls over, looking at me over his shoulder. "Hold me instead."
I am obviously the man in this.
We all know what is coming, of course. Ouch at the thought! But I think I'll take it as it comes, this time. 不要想太多
And the boy is totally rocking my wig, too. "If Jay Chou can pull it off, then I can, too!" Not quite the original, but the pose is there, I admit.
We aren't offically boyfriend and girlfriend, of course, we made that clear, but I have never slept so well as when he is near. It's something about the stupid things he does, like combing out my hair when something is stuck, or pinching my cheek when I'm being an arse.
I'm sleeping, and he takes the pillow I'm hugging away from me, waking me up before he rolls over, looking at me over his shoulder. "Hold me instead."
I am obviously the man in this.
We all know what is coming, of course. Ouch at the thought! But I think I'll take it as it comes, this time. 不要想太多
And the boy is totally rocking my wig, too. "If Jay Chou can pull it off, then I can, too!" Not quite the original, but the pose is there, I admit.
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