2008, 88!

Today, we will think about the year that is ending... Well, I shall at any rate. 2008 was an unlucky year, a tragic one, but after trauma there's a sweet if somewhat tangy aftertaste and though I suppose I am not exactly learning, I am never upset for more than two days in a row. It is amazing, the ability one has to come back like a bouncing little bunny in the midst of it all. It is very practical indeed!

First off then, the hardships:
March: The riots in Tibet that inevitably reached Sichuan and Chengdu, resulting in heavily armed policemen and continuous bomb threats. I have never been in a war zone, per say, but during this time, we were told to stay inside and if indeed we ventured outside, there were guns cocked in all directions.

May: The Wenchuan Earthquake. The world shook and fell into pieces and I worked overtime to pull it back to together, to help the best I could. Everywhere was ruins, death and but also Hope, and I am glad that I could help. I slept on fields, I provided drinking water, I interviewed and translated, I donated my entire salary and so much more and I can still feel that I did not do enough.

July-August: My Visa Problems. Continuous problems with my new university and my visa that in the end forced me out of the country, all because of the Olympics and a department that is unaware of its own rules and regulations. Once in Korea, I was stuck, unable to return to my beloved China and if my dad had not stormed into the Chinese embassy in Stockholm I would have been forced to stay in Seoul to get a job - I mean, I do love the Koreans but there are limits. I the end, I had a stressful but very exciting time in Seoul and I picked up plenty of Korean(s) for the sake of learning! =^_^=

October: Painful rejection and heartbreak! I died, I fell apart, and I screamed for hours, I was so angry with myself and the little fluffy clouds in my heart. I wanted a shoulder, at least for an hour, was rejected again and lost a friend in the process. But I had it all coming, it was so Obvious, I was not even surprised, which made it so much Worse.

But this years has also brought wonderful things. It brought Kathy, Tracy and You Jin, Kandi and Ali and Pierre, Cui Sheng Xuan, RK and Azhang (though he annoys me) and I love Beijing, I love China and my heart is so Full. I can take pain, I can take anything you fucking throw at me - just give me Jay and a G&T, I'm ready for war.

Song of the Year: "彩虹" Jay Chou
Dance of the Year: "Tell me" (Especially with Korean Army Boys)
Look-A-Like of the Year: Azhang OMG JAY BABY
Drink of the Year: Soju!
The Best Mistake Ever: Azhang
Love of Year: KOREAN SOCKS
Girl of the Year: Kathy
Boy of the Year: Howie
Obsession of the Year: Getting a Taiwanese accent (it's okay, you can laugh)
Loss of the Year: Various friendships and Chengdu (but I will be back ^^)


In short: Go Go 加油！2009, 欢迎你！

My heart is lame

My heart is lame with running after yours so fast
Such a long way,
Shall we walk slowly home, looking at all the things we passed
Perhaps to-day?

Home down the quiet evening roads under the quiet skies,
Not saying much,
You for a moment giving me your eyes
When you could bear my touch.

But not to-morrow. This has taken all my breath;
Then, though you look the same,
There may be something lovelier in Love's face in death
As your heart sees it, running back the way we came;
My heart is lame.

Charlotte Mew

我忘了说~~最美的是你的名字

I feel so incredibly romantic today, I can't explain it. It has nothing to do with Azhang, I've rejected his advances after the Big Fallout - no, I think it's just a general feeling of content that has come over me of late. I'm being romantic all to myself with flowers, sweets, raspberry lattes and books... Today is a Happy Saturday!

Yesterday's concert was inspiring, I am looking forwards to Korean Food with You Jin tonight. I think I am just... content. Happy! Yeah, that's it.



PARIS IS SOON!
Oh, Love.

Baby one more time

Chinese of the day:
求饶
To beg for mercy

Let's Lose Face

Oh, come on, seriously, what's up with all the drama? I can't say I'm a fan of it, really. I wanted something calm and quiet for once - and what do I get? More Drama! As though the whole Korean ordeal was not enough, we have to do it again, and in Chinese!

My heart is lame with running after yours so fast

Who wrote that? I feel her.

I think we are playing some kind of revenge game, Azhang and I.
"You didn't let me move in so I'll make you lose face by pretending not to notice you"
"You made me lose face so I'm dirty dancing with another bloke in front of you"
"You're making me lose face in front of my friends so I'll ignore you"
"You ignore me so I will let the other bloke buy me flowers to piss you off"
"You're flirting with someone else right in front of me so I will do the same"
"You're a complete arse so I'm going to leave without letting you know"
"You left without telling so now I won't call you"

Very mature, I say. I admit I am a part of it, but at least I did not start it.

Oh, what the hell. Let's just break up and be done with it.

... and the beat goes on

He didn't move in after all, for which we are all grateful and only vaguely mournful (its nice to keep him close). He is finding his own place in Hou Hai, and it's only thirty minutes there by bus, I think I can live through it.

We aren't offically boyfriend and girlfriend, of course, we made that clear, but I have never slept so well as when he is near. It's something about the stupid things he does, like combing out my hair when something is stuck, or pinching my cheek when I'm being an arse.

I'm sleeping, and he takes the pillow I'm hugging away from me, waking me up before he rolls over, looking at me over his shoulder. "Hold me instead."

I am obviously the man in this.

We all know what is coming, of course. Ouch at the thought! But I think I'll take it as it comes, this time. 不要想太多



And the boy is totally rocking my wig, too. "If Jay Chou can pull it off, then I can, too!" Not quite the original, but the pose is there, I admit.

彩虹。。。我看见了

"Are you tired? You can lean on me and sleep until we get back. And your hands are cold, let me warm them."

If he burns me now, I'm going to wring his fucking head off.

I have never slept in the same bed as anyone who wants to tangle arms, legs and fingers in order to sleep, only to snore so much that when it's silent, I can't quite relax. Not until now.

I can't help but to be suspicious. But then, when he sings 夜曲, and I can't tell his voice from Jay's voice...

Azhang, my pretty boy. Don't fuck with me or I'll mess you up so badly your own mum won't even recognise you (hell yeah, I stole that from a bad rap song!).

Chinese of the day:
"跟我一起住房子吧“
Move in with me